she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
