you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So vagazzling was a success
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
