She went from zero to smokin in five shots
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
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he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
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It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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