He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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