girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
ok first of all what the fuck
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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