my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
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We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
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I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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