I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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