she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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