Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game

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(417): View more from Missouri

My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.

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(440): View more from Ohio

i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.

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(410): View more from Maryland

How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?

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(360): View more from Washington

well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home

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(928): View more from Arizona

Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?

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(219): View more from Indiana

I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.

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