i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
