If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize