Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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