But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize