cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
