also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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