I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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