youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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