i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
