Betty ford says i'm here all night
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
