Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
