i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
