Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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