Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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