some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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