i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
The air taste purple.
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