its not stalking. its research.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
BRING THE BAGELS
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
