just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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