I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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