He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Blood and glitter go together right?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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