this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
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They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
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The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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