Do vagina's smell?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
