I want to have your abortion
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
