Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
