We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
