You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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