While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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