if you like me you must not know who I am
Barsexuality is the new black.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
