And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
