Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize