Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
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I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
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As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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