I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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