Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
