My brain says no but my pants say off.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I have already put on my inside pants.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
