put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
