Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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