I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Also, beer. Big fan.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
