Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.

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  (201): I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people. http://tfl.nu/03zs
  Replies (13) Good night (1313) Bad night (716)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?

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  (+61): i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason? http://tfl.nu/33o5
  Replies (7) Good night (2922) Bad night (1132)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.

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  (732): thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air. http://tfl.nu/4jlr
  Replies (3) Good night (1824) Bad night (1134)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt

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  (630): I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt http://tfl.nu/jrki
  Replies (10) Good night (3034) Bad night (814)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.

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  (802): Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester. http://tfl.nu/l7en
  Replies (1) Good night (1650) Bad night (696)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?

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  (281): Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again? http://tfl.nu/lpz3
  Replies (7) Good night (1730) Bad night (566)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.

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  (864): Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you. http://tfl.nu/7af4
  Replies (5) Good night (500) Bad night (1089)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.

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  (985): We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects. http://tfl.nu/f5x4
  Replies (3) Good night (416) Bad night (1140)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.

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  (503): Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson. http://tfl.nu/op2p
  Replies (4) Good night (417) Bad night (575)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend

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  (607): Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend http://tfl.nu/0ja4
  Replies (2) Good night (789) Bad night (463)
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  (296): View more from

  just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night

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  (296): just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night http://tfl.nu/8qw8
  Replies (3) Good night (362) Bad night (765)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack

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  (979): Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack http://tfl.nu/vyx2
  Replies (7) Good night (778) Bad night (283)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE

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  (330): GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE http://tfl.nu/x21o
  Replies (2) Good night (372) Bad night (540)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.

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  (248): apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week. http://tfl.nu/ax7v
  Replies (1) Good night (355) Bad night (444)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.

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  (254): Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix. http://tfl.nu/u7mx
  Replies (4) Good night (191) Bad night (556)

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