i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
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The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..