Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.

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  (734): 11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle. http://tfl.nu/pkgd
  Replies (4) Good night (1554) Bad night (2358)
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  (909): View more from California

  if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids

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  (909): if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids http://tfl.nu/et14
  Replies (18) Good night (1652) Bad night (3977)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn

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  (302): I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn http://tfl.nu/trfc
  Replies (14) Good night (5486) Bad night (1435)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.

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  (604): Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling. http://tfl.nu/zskd
  Replies (14) Good night (7345) Bad night (1130)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too

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  (920): No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too http://tfl.nu/6mfg
  Replies (7) Good night (2933) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.

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  (503): I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over. http://tfl.nu/8vsu
  Replies (5) Good night (1035) Bad night (2685)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.

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  (636): I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle. http://tfl.nu/niba
  Replies (6) Good night (2326) Bad night (856)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.

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  (504): Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me. http://tfl.nu/tasz
  Replies (22) Good night (1487) Bad night (4322)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon

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  (603): Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon http://tfl.nu/opxd
  Replies (4) Good night (1299) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.

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  (469): Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked. http://tfl.nu/5hhs
  Replies (8) Good night (1460) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.

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  (847): I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message. http://tfl.nu/fe15
  Replies (1) Good night (1240) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  if i bang your brother are we still cool?

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  (412): if i bang your brother are we still cool? http://tfl.nu/9e2i
  Replies (5) Good night (872) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.

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  (641): I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs. http://tfl.nu/3u6a
  Replies (2) Good night (516) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.

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  (219): If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life. http://tfl.nu/39kr
  Replies (6) Good night (1096) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  "Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"

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  (941): "Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?" http://tfl.nu/ffpa
  Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (300)

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