you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
