I didn't shave. On purpose
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
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I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
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I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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