last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
