is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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