i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
