I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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