Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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