I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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