I think my vagina is haunted
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize