honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
high people should be assigned attendants
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
