I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
