made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
