opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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